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Connor McGwire's avatar

Now I have to ask if you've played the game "Destiny." Reminded me of that a lot—in a good way.

I liked the immediate dynamic between Adolphus and Draven. You can really feel the craven Lord's trepidation that his little project went *too* well. Then, for me, the scene of Draven fitting into his gear like he was sliding into an old favorite car got me invested in the guy immediately. Made it clear we weren't gonna have a chapter or two of him fumbling about getting up to speed, but the reactions from everyone around him still gives him that "wind up" for a different kind of challenge he'll be dealing with.

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Weapons of Legend's avatar

Is Draven a man or monster? Either way, he's a compelling character. Through his POV, one can see Draven has a moral code, or he would have killed those soldiers threatening him in the barracks. I also like that he has a mind/will of his own and not completely in thrall of Lord Adolphus. Based on the spiritual torment he went through in the chapter's beginning; I have suspicions about what he was prior to his reawakening.

Writing-wise, you did a great job of "showing" instead of "telling"--something most writers (including myself) struggles with.

Draven's robot companion, with his "useless facts", is an excellent way of avoiding exposition while simultaneously explaining this amazing world you created to amnesiac Draven and the reader. Well done!

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